My 8 year old Violin Teacher

Being her helpful self

I realised a few weeks ago that our eldest child gets a bit of a raw deal in the family. She's mature for her age, responsible, extremely helpful and busy, busy, busy. I realised that she's so busy and helpful that I don't find time for fun with her. I had a cats-in-the-cradle moment flash before my eyes where my children were grown and I had wonderful relationships with my adult children, except for Gaia who never made it to family events, "we'll get together soon, Mum" #tear

Around the time I realised this, she started attending group violin lessons. Kids of all ages studying the Suzuki method gather once a week to play together. The songs you don't yet know you can sit out or play the rhythm on a single string. It's fun and judgement free. Seeing how accessible the group class was for total novices it struck me: this is something I can share with Gaia, a way to connect. I hired a violin from Gaia's Suzuki educator and asked Gaia to teach me what she knew.

Gaia is ahead of me in Suzuki Violin Book 1, but I'm determined to keep up as best I can. Sometimes we play together (though she prefers if we play separately and listen to one another). She enthusiastically claps when I finish, no matter how terrible my performance, because she is proud of me for trying and she's excited to share this part of her that used to set her apart from the rest of the family, something she could only share with her teacher for half an hour a week. Now it's a game to play with Mum and a way to feel accomplished and knowledgeable as she educates me. Thanks to group lesson it is also a social affair she shares with many of her friends.

It has been fascinating to note the similarities and differences between the way Gaia and I learn. We both want to be perfect instantly, we both want to rush through pieces and tick them off the list. Gaia relies heavily on sight reading to be able to perform, whereas I can rely on my memory a little more. Gaia's fingering and bow lifts are years ahead of me, but I struggle less than her with rhythm.

It's humbling to stand in a room full of people much younger than me who can play violin far better than me. But it's a wonderful kind of humbling, because it isn't embarrassing, it's inspiring. None of the children find my presence weird, and there is another mum who plays at group lesson also. Many of the kids at group lesson are also homeschooled, so the lack of segregation between young and old is a normal part of their day.

I have such a better appreciation for Gaia's skill now that I am trying it out myself. Beforehand I might have cringed at a missed note or wondered why after all these lessons it still didn't sound like the CD. But now, I hear everything she has accomplished and to be honest I am just amazed she can hold the blasted thing up as long as she does, because my back muscles are completely exhausted after two songs!

I've never had a desire to play the violin. I've spent the last two years secretly hoping she'd move on to another instrument and being disengaged from musical education, leaving it to her and her teacher. But I'm surprised to discover that it's actually a lot of fun and I'm starting to really like the violin now that I'm playing. It's physically and mentally satisfying to play and makes me appreciate the music in a way that I could not before when I was merely listening. This homeschooling journey is full of surprises and I'm grateful to Gaia for being her own person and following her own passions because as well as growing into her own perfect self, she's also opening up my tiny world.

The first time I tried out the violin